Chapter One: How to silence the black Bishop
Bishop Lionel Daniel sat behind his desk and glumly surveyed the various contracts, agreements, commendations, and position papers that needed his signature. He hadn’t finished Sunday’s sermon–and it was already Thursday afternoon.
He was behind schedule with his book, The Homosexual’s Bible, but knew he could catch up by burning a little midnight oil. His publisher was excited about the first draft, and the book–although unfinished–had already received a good deal of national attention.
As senior pastor of Preach Christ Church, the largest African-American congregation in the Boston area, Daniel had preached against legalizing same-sex marriage. He had taken the battle to national talk shows, written a number of articles about the issue, and engaged in spirited public debate with gay marriage proponents.
His exchange on the Zack O’Rourke program with gay advocate Mike Minor was O’Rourke’s highest rated show ever.
Lionel Daniel was persuasive, eloquent, and unfailingly polite. White liberals had a hard time dealing with him, as they always did when someone with darker skin didn’t tow the party line. Several pontificating, white conservatives discovered the Bishop could not be manipulated or pressured.
Despite strong opposition, it was no surprise when same-sex marriage became legalized in several states. The ruling came through the courts–the citizens had not even been allowed to vote on the issue.
As Bishop Daniel had predicted, the same-sex marriage victory was just the beginning. Pro-gay advocates continued to work tirelessly in the arenas of education, housing, and media. So Bishop Lionel Daniel continued to be in demand as a speaker and writer. He hadn’t had a day off in close to three months.
Today the physical and emotional exhaustion hit him, seemingly all at once. Wearily, Lionel Daniel sighed and rubbed his temples. He called, “Jeretta,” and his secretary of twenty years appeared at the open doorway.
“Yes, Bishop?”
Daniel pointed both index fingers at the paperwork on his desk. “I need some time to pray.”
“You sure do,” she agreed.
“Jeretta, when am I speaking at the annual Christian African-American Breakfast?”
“Tomorrow at 8 a.m., Bishop.”
His eyes widened in surprise. “Tomorrow? How’d that get past me?” Daniel laughed a little and shook his head. “This is a little different from the early days, isn’t it?”
Indeed, it was.
Preach Christ Church began in a tiny basement twenty two years ago. Now it was the largest African-American congregation in Boston, and Bishop Lionel Daniel was a man who was loved, hated, listened to, and argued about–and with the Supreme Court slated to weigh in on “hate speech,” the controversial pastor continued to be a sought after guest on national talk shows.
His secretary softly said, “I’m worried about you, Bishop.” Jeretta Thomas had been with Lionel and Hattie Daniel a long time. She had the right to speak her mind, and often did. “A man of God preaches, teaches, and tends the flock.”
“Ah, Jeretta, I hope I’m still doing that. I’m so busy, all these projects and papers, but I believe I’m still preaching and teaching. Aren’t I?”
Jeretta said, “There’s preaching and teaching from the flesh. Then there’s preaching and teaching from the Spirit of the Lord. You know how that’s done, don’t you?”
The tiny woman was speaking to one of the most powerful pastors in the area, but Daniel replied humbly, “By reading the Word of God and by prayer.”
“That’s right,” nodded Jeretta. She looked at the pile of papers on his desk. “And Bishop, some of this stuff has got to go.”
“I just need more time, is all.”
“Well, when the Lord makes eight days in the week, or thirty six hours in the day, be sure and let me know.”
Lionel Daniel groaned and pushed back his chair from his polished, mahogany desk. He stood up and stretched. “I appreciate the wise counsel, Jeretta. You’re right. I need to scale back. I’ve signed so many declarations and agreements that it seems like all I do any more.”
But Friday was no different from Thursday. After returning from the Christian African-American Breakfast, he sat down and began to catch up on paperwork. Yet, the paper pile on his desk didn’t get any smaller, because Jeretta or her assistants kept bringing in documents. Still, the Bishop did finish his sermon, and even managed to pray a little.
Late that morning, Zack O’Rouke called Bishop Daniel personally and asked if he would again be his guest on “O’Rourke.” The program remained the number one rated cable news show. “You knocked ‘em dead last time, Bishop,” laughed O’Rourke.
Daniel didn’t disagree with the iconoclastic host. Using Scripture and logic, he had trounced Mike Minor, the high profile gay activist, in their heated exchange on same-sex marriage.
But the Bishop said, “Zack, thank you, but I can’t. I have too much going on. I feel like an administrator, when I’m a pastor.”
O’Rourke said dramatically, “Gays in the church, Bishop. That’s what we’re discussing. This is gonna be a good one. Mike Minor is back too, and he says you signed an agreement that acknowledges that sexually active homosexuals are part of the Body of Christ.”
“What? I never signed anything like that,” protested Bishop Daniel.
“Easy there, Bishop. I’m just a poor Irish-American Catholic doing my best to provide a forum for differing viewpoints. If you come on the show, I imagine you’ll thrash him again.”
The anger surged through the Bishop like erupting lava. “Minor’s lying, Zack. I signed no such thing. I’ll go on the show.”
“He says he has the document. We’ll film you from Boston, no need to fly all the way here if you don’t want to.” O’Rourke said goodbye and Bishop Daniel grimly hung up the phone.
The gay advocates wouldn’t be falsifying documents, would they?
“Jeretta!” he yelled, and all the office workers looked at each other in wonder.
(For next chapter, go Chapter 2., The Bishop and the televised lie)
Chapters:
1. How to silence the black Bishop: HERE
2. The Bishop and the televised lie: HERE
3. C.R.O.C.-o-matic: HERE
4. Declaration of Courtesy: HERE
Announcement: Evange-hellicals Anonymous help available: HERE
5. The LORD is a man of war (Exodus 15:3): HERE
Newsbreak: Unhappy Evange-hellicals Anonymous member speaks out: HERE
6. The Fleas and Pets Newsletter: HERE
7. Enough with the propaganda points: HERE
Intermission: Popcorn half price for evangelicals: SNACKS
8. Espresso with the Just Jesus Christian: HERE
9. Nothing he could say: HERE
Advertisement: Universalist “Big Tent” Toy Set For The Kids! HERE
10. Episco-contemplatives: HERE
10.5 Jenni Botswana knows the Lion HERE
11. What is happening HERE
12. Howls and Lamentations HERE
New! Evange-hekkicals Cereal! HERE
13. Unholy Times and an Unholy People: HERE
14. Jenni Botswana, Early Bird: HERE
15. The evangelist and the rotting fruit: HERE
15.5 Fleas and Heretics HERE
Evange-Smellicals Perfume Commercial: SNIFF
16. Gay Activist and the Puritan Preacher: HERE
17. HELL’S BELLS: YIKES!
18. Homo-Universalism: HERE
19. Evange-hellicals and People of the Book: HERE
Infomercial: Evange-hellicals Bible sells out first day: HERE
20. Gomer Joe’s Bar: HERE
21. Return of the Anti-Flea Sauce HERE
22. Hanratty praying, the enemy preying: HERE
Announcement: Talking Evange-tellicals in our lobby! HERE
23. “What, you’re a reformed lesbian?” HERE
24. This thing that is upon us: HERE
25. What a beautiful girl: HERE
26. Better to struggle than burn: HERE
27. The Street Preacher HERE
28: Epilogue: Rifles and Parade: HERE
Wow, thank you Manfred.
Gonna havta come back for more!