Episode Five: The LORD is a man of war. (Exodus 15:3)
Bishop Lionel Daniel said wearily, “That’s it. Shut it off.”
“Who is Bob Hanratty?”
“Baby, please. Just shut it off.”
Hattie did as her husband requested. WOLF News Network played the O’Rourke program around the clock, and she knew it would be on again at 2 am. She would watch the remaining ten minutes or so while her husband slept.
If he slept.
Daniel rubbed his face and got up from the couch, and began pacing back and forth. His heavy footsteps could be heard–thwap, thwap, thwap–on the cold, wooden floor.
She said gently, “Honey, you need to get some rest.”
“I want some rest. I need to seek my King. Where’s my Bible?”
Hattie Daniel got up, and walked to the stout oak table their son had made for them twenty two years ago. It was nicked and chipped, and stained from various coffee spills. It was a table that should have been in the kitchen, or the study, perhaps, but their son had died in Iraq, and the battered, off-center table was going to remain right there.
So were they.
There would be no running from this…thing that was trying to devour them. She picked up his worn King James Bible and brought it to him.
Bishop Daniel said, “The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name.” His deep baritone seemed to fill the room. Hattie sank to her knees, ignoring the twinges of arthritis. Earnestly, she began to call out to Christ the King.
In his Georgetown apartment, celebrating with his evangelical friend, gay activist Mike Minor had no explanation for his growing anxiety.
“What’s wrong?” his friend asked.
“Nothing,” Mike Minor poured more bourbon into their glasses. He finished his with one gulp, and hurriedly poured another.
“You had a huge victory on that show. You should be happy.”
Mike Minor nodded. “Yes, right, I should be.” With a sudden clarity he understood this feeling wasn’t anxiety.
It was dread.
To be continued…
Episodes of Attack of the Evange-hellicals:
1. How to silence the black Bishop: HERE
2. The Bishop and the televised lie: HERE
3. C.R.O.C.-o-matic: HERE
4. Declaration of Courtesy: HERE
Announcement: Evange-hellicals Anonymous help available: HERE
5. The LORD is a man of war (Exodus 15:3): HERE
Newsbreak: Unhappy Evange-hellicals Anonymous member speaks out: HERE
6. The Fleas and Pets Newsletter: HERE
7. Enough with the propaganda points: HERE
Intermission: Popcorn half price for evangelicals: SNACKS
8. Espresso with the Just Jesus Christian: HERE
9. Nothing he could say: HERE
Advertisement: Universalist “Big Tent” Toy Set For The Kids! HERE
10. Episco-contemplatives: HERE
10.5 Jenni Botswana knows the Lion HERE
11. What is happening HERE
12. Howls and Lamentations HERE
13. Unholy Times and an Unholy People: HERE
14. Jenni Botswana, Early Bird: HERE
15. The evangelist and the rotting fruit: HERE
15.5 Fleas and Heretics HERE
Evange-Smellicals Perfume Commercial: SNIFF
16. Gay Activist and the Puritan Preacher: HERE
17. HELL’S BELLS: HERE
18. Homo-Universalism: HERE
19. Evange-hellicals and People of the Book: HERE
Infomercial: Evange-hellicals Bible sells out first day: HERE
20. Gomer Joe’s Bar: HERE
21. Return of the Anti-Flea Sauce HERE
22. Hanratty praying, the enemy preying: HERE
Announcement: Talking Evange-tellicals in our lobby! HERE
23. “What, you’re a reformed lesbian?” HERE
24. This thing that is upon us: HERE
25. What a beautiful girl: HERE
26. Better to struggle than burn: HERE
27. The Street Preacher HERE
28: Epilogue: Rifles and Parade: HERE
copyright 2010 John Lanagan (This is a fictional story and all characters are fictitious.)
We are part of a small group study of the Old Testament in our church right now. Can’t miss the message about God’s sovereignty! Mighty to save and jealous about His name. Our only refuge in good times and bad.
She said gently, “Honey, you need to get some rest.”
“I want some rest. I need to seek my King. Where’s my Bible?”
Bishop Daniel said, “The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name.”
Wow. For all of us standing in the midst of the battle let us all remember this!