Episode Seven: Enough with the propaganda points
In his Georgetown residence, Mike Minor stared up at his ceiling. His pajamas, even his sheets, were damp with his sweat. Liquor hadn’t helped. The tranquilizers had done nothing.
Mike Minor gazed around the room at the awards and commendations honoring his gay activism. The autographed picture of the famous rock star, a recent victim of AIDS, seemed to mock him. His inexplicable sense of dread continued to grow.
In Boston, Bishop Lionel Daniel’s rhythmic snores filled the bedroom. Lionel and Hattie had prayed until 3 am. Hattie slowly got out of bed, ignoring the jolts of arthritis as best she could, and quietly opened the door. It was 5:30 am.
Although her husband had told her what happened at the end of the O’Rourke show, she wanted to see for herself. WOLF Television Network ran Zack O’Rourke’s program around the clock. Each show was played six times within a twenty four hour period, and still people could not get enough of O’Rourke’s sarcastic humor and controversial guests.
Hattie sat down and turned on the television. She waited patiently through the part of the program she had already seen. The commercial for a “New, revolutionary diet plan!” held no relevance for the rail-thin Hattie. She turned up the volume when O’Rourke came back on.
Zack O’Rourke usually gave a brief summary of what had happened, or what was being discussed. But the lanky, cranky national television host just shook his head and shrugged. He appeared genuinely disgusted.
Mike Minor took full advantage of the unexpected silence. “I want your audience to understand, Zack,” he said solemnly. “The Declaration of Courtesy was created to show our citizens, who these days are so often hostile toward one another, that evangelical Christians understand the importance of politeness and courtesy.”
Bishop Daniel snapped, “Again, that list is full of heretics. Mr. Minor continues to twist the meaning of ‘evangelical’ and even the definition of ‘Christian.’”
O’Rourke said, “And yet, Bishop, you are one of the signatories. Mike Minor says you knew who was on the list when you signed. And, he says, you were later notified who is on the list. He has documentation, he says. You haven’t taken your name off the list, which has been public almost two months now. If you’re so upset at being linked with the other signatories, why are you still part of the Declaration of Courtesy?”
Bishop Daniel remained uncharacteristically silent, and Mike Minor laughed and shook his head.
O’Rourke, irritated, said, “What is going on here? You owe an explanation, Bishop. Mike Minor, read the opening paragraph of the Declaration for the viewers. Then we’ll get back to your statement about the columnist–”
“Bob Hanratty.”
“Right. We’ll deal with this as soon as we take a look at the Declaration. Read it, please, Mike Minor. Then we’ll give the Bishop his opportunity to respond.” He glared at Bishop Daniel. “And a response would be wise, Bishop Lionel Daniel. Go ahead, Mike.”
“Yes. Certainly. But it is important that your audience understand these are all Christians who have signed. Zack, all of them are in relation with Christ.” Mike Minor looked compassionately into the camera. “That is the real good news. Christ accepts us all, gay, straight, black, white, He is ready to receive us all.”
“All right, already. We’re running out of time here,” growled O’Rourke. “Enough with the propaganda points. Read the paragraph.”
“Sorry, Zack, I just feel so strongly about this,” Mike Minor replied, still looking into the camera.
“…for he is a liar and the father of lies,” Hattie said softly.
As Mike Minor began to read, Hattie heard the bedroom door open. “There’s a voice I could do without listening to,” her husband rumbled.
“It’s almost over,” Hattie said.
“Is it?”
To be continued…
Episodes of Attack of the Evange-hellicals:
1. How to silence the black Bishop: HERE
2. The Bishop and the televised lie: HERE
3. C.R.O.C.-o-matic: HERE
4. Declaration of Courtesy: HERE
Announcement: Evange-hellicals Anonymous help available: HERE
5. The LORD is a man of war (Exodus 15:3): HERE
Newsbreak: Unhappy Evange-hellicals Anonymous member speaks out: HERE
6. The Fleas and Pets Newsletter: HERE
7. Enough with the propaganda points: HERE
Intermission: Popcorn half price for evangelicals: SNACKS
8. Espresso with the Just Jesus Christian: HERE
9. Nothing he could say: HERE
Advertisement: Universalist “Big Tent” Toy Set For The Kids! HERE
10. Episco-contemplatives: HERE
10.5 Jenni Botswana knows the Lion HERE
11. What is happening HERE
12. Howls and Lamentations HERE
13. Unholy Times and an Unholy People: HERE
14. Jenni Botswana, Early Bird: HERE
15. The evangelist and the rotting fruit: HERE
15.5 Fleas and Heretics HERE
Evange-Smellicals Perfume Commercial: SNIFF
16. Gay Activist and the Puritan Preacher: HERE
17. HELL’S BELLS: HERE
18. Homo-Universalism: HERE
19. Evange-hellicals and People of the Book: HERE
Infomercial: Evange-hellicals Bible sells out first day: HERE
20. Gomer Joe’s Bar: HERE
21. Return of the Anti-Flea Sauce HERE
22. Hanratty praying, the enemy preying: HERE
Announcement: Talking Evange-tellicals in our lobby! HERE
23. “What, you’re a reformed lesbian?” HERE
24. This thing that is upon us: HERE
25. What a beautiful girl: HERE
26. Better to struggle than burn: HERE
27. The Street Preacher HERE
28: Epilogue: Rifles and Parade: HERE
copyright 2010 John Lanagan
All characters are fictitious and this is a fictional story.
