Episode Ten and one half: Jenni Botswana knows the Lion
Jenni Bulutlhieize was the first media member to arrive at the Gay Equality Foundation. Jenni was a joyful African woman, and she had learned long ago that Americans simply couldn’t pronounce her last name.
However, since they could (usually) pronounce the name of her country, some of them started calling her “Jenni Botswana.” This amused her greatly, and around Washington D.C., this is how she was introduced.
The Americans were very entertaining. Once they learned she was African, often the first question asked would be about lions. Now, she had indeed seen many, many lions–but only in movies and zoos, just like most Americans.
Yet, this question was an important one. It gave Jenni Botswana the opportunity to say, “I do know the Lion of Judah,” and then she would speak of Christ crucified. The Lion of Judah was powerful beyond comprehension, and this morning she prayed hard for these two lost Episco-contemplative women.
Jenni Botswana worked for a small Christian newspaper that consistently managed to break major stories. A number of these scoops had been hers, and Jenni was not a welcome sight to those in the secular media.
Not that she ever worried about it. She had a job to do, and she could do it in any one of the four languages or two dialects she spoke.
“Good morning,” she said to the Episco-contemplative priests. “We are the first here, it seems.”
She sat serenely across from Jill and Linda Billings in the large conference room. She smiled at them, and they smiled at her. Finally, she inquired, “May I be the first to ask you some questions?”
To be continued…
Episodes of Attack of the Evange-hellicals:
1. How to silence the black Bishop: HERE
2. The Bishop and the televised lie: HERE
3. C.R.O.C.-o-matic: HERE
4. Declaration of Courtesy: HERE
Announcement: Evange-hellicals Anonymous help available: HERE
5. The LORD is a man of war (Exodus 15:3): HERE
Newsbreak: Unhappy Evange-hellicals Anonymous member speaks out: HERE
6. The Fleas and Pets Newsletter: HERE
7. Enough with the propaganda points: HERE
Intermission: Popcorn half price for evangelicals: SNACKS
8. Espresso with the Just Jesus Christian: HERE
9. Nothing he could say: HERE
Advertisement: Universalist “Big Tent” Toy Set For The Kids! HERE
10. Episco-contemplatives: HERE
10.5 Jenni Botswana knows the Lion HERE
11. What is happening HERE
12. Howls and Lamentations HERE
13. Unholy Times and an Unholy People: HERE
14. Jenni Botswana, Early Bird: HERE
15. The evangelist and the rotting fruit: HERE
15.5 Fleas and Heretics HERE
Evange-Smellicals Perfume Commercial: SNIFF
16. Gay Activist and the Puritan Preacher: HERE
17. HELL’S BELLS: HERE
18. Homo-Universalism: HERE
19. Evange-hellicals and People of the Book: HERE
Infomercial: Evange-hellicals Bible sells out first day: HERE
20. Gomer Joe’s Bar: HERE
21. Return of the Anti-Flea Sauce HERE
22. Hanratty praying, the enemy preying: HERE
Announcement: Talking Evange-tellicals in our lobby! HERE
23. “What, you’re a reformed lesbian?” HERE
24. This thing that is upon us: HERE
25. What a beautiful girl: HERE
26. Better to struggle than burn: HERE
27. The Street Preacher HERE
28: Epilogue: Rifles and Parade: HERE
copyright 2010 John Lanagan
(This is a work of fiction, and all characters are fictitious.)
