Episode Fifteen and one half: Fleas and heretics
Marie O’Rourke stopped at the entrance to their spacious kitchen, and watched as her husband jammed orange peels, pepper, several squirts of toothpaste, and a green onion into her blender.
“What are you doing?” she asked. After thirty five years of marriage, nothing surprised her.
Zack O’Rourke held up a notebook page with his familiar scribbles all over it. “I’m making the Anti-Flea Sauce.” O’Rourke put down the paper, as if that explained everything, and began to open her kitchen cabinets. “Where’s the cinnamon?”
Marie sighed. “Left hand cabinet, top shelf. Zack, again I ask, what are you doing?”
O’Rourke rummaged through her cabinet, knocking over bottles and containers. “Hah!” he said, when he found a small container of cinnamon.
“And why are you using my three hundred dollar blender?”
O’Rourke poured cinnamon into the concoction. “I had a very interesting conversation with Bob Hanratty, the guy who warned Bishop Lionel Daniel about all the heretics on the Declaration of Courtesy. He’s a flea expert, Marie.”
“He’s a what?”
“A flea expert. He says this always works.”
Marie shook her head and pointed at the mess. “Oh, I’m sure.”
“Pretty interesting. He said a lot of those folks on the Declaration of Courtesy were really fleas infesting the Body of Christ. Or trying to.”
To be continued…
Episodes of Attack of the Evange-hellicals:
1. How to silence the black Bishop: HERE
2. The Bishop and the televised lie: HERE
3. C.R.O.C.-o-matic: HERE
4. Declaration of Courtesy: HERE
Announcement: Evange-hellicals Anonymous help available: HERE
5. The LORD is a man of war (Exodus 15:3): HERE
Newsbreak: Unhappy Evange-hellicals Anonymous member speaks out: HERE
6. The Fleas and Pets Newsletter: HERE
7. Enough with the propaganda points: HERE
Intermission: Popcorn half price for evangelicals: SNACKS
8. Espresso with the Just Jesus Christian: HERE
9. Nothing he could say: HERE
Advertisement: Universalist “Big Tent” Toy Set For The Kids! HERE
10. Episco-contemplatives: HERE
10.5 Jenni Botswana knows the Lion HERE
11. What is happening HERE
12. Howls and Lamentations HERE
13. Unholy Times and an Unholy People: HERE
14. Jenni Botswana, Early Bird: HERE
15. The evangelist and the rotting fruit: HERE
15.5 Fleas and Heretics HERE
Evange-Smellicals Perfume Commercial: SNIFF
16. Gay Activist and the Puritan Preacher: HERE
17. HELL’S BELLS: HERE
18. Homo-Universalism: HERE
19. Evange-hellicals and People of the Book: HERE
Infomercial: Evange-hellicals Bible sells out first day: HERE
20. Gomer Joe’s Bar: HERE
21. Return of the Anti-Flea Sauce HERE
22. Hanratty praying, the enemy preying: HERE
Announcement: Talking Evange-tellicals in our lobby! HERE
23. “What, you’re a reformed lesbian?” HERE
24. This thing that is upon us: HERE
25. What a beautiful girl: HERE
26. Better to struggle than burn: HERE
27. The Street Preacher HERE
28: Epilogue: Rifles and Parade: HERE
copyright 2010 John Lanagan
(This is a fictitious story, and all characters are made up, meaning fictitious)
“… fleas infesting the Body of Christ. Or trying to.”
They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us.