Dear United Unity Cinema,
As one of the people addicted to the Attack of the Evange-hellicals movie, I was initially very grateful that you let your theatre be used for Evange-hellicals Anonymous meetings.
It has also allowed me to buy a ticket, see the movie (again), and then go to my meeting.
But I am unhappy about the “higher power” god of E.A.’s Step #3. Why? Well, this malleable “god” can be anything, or everything, just like the universalism in the movie. Unfortunately, now I have also become increasingly dependent upon universalism (I never had this problem before I saw the movie), and I walk around worshiping trees, sandwiches, Dixieland Band concerts, and everything else.
I am wondering why I am in these meetings since E.A. and other Twelve Step groups point towards this same concept. How is this helpful to me?
Perhaps your excellent management team could rethink its position about offering Evange-hellicals Anonymous meetings in the theatre right after the movie.
Thank you for considering my request. I must end here, as I want to make it to the matinee.
Respectfully,
A. Nonymous
Episodes of Attack of the Evange-hellicals:
1. How to silence the black Bishop: HERE
2. The Bishop and the televised lie: HERE
3. C.R.O.C.-o-matic: HERE
4. Declaration of Courtesy: HERE
Announcement: Evange-hellicals Anonymous help available: HERE
5. The LORD is a man of war (Exodus 15:3): HERE
Newsbreak: Unhappy Evange-hellicals Anonymous member speaks out: HERE
6. The Fleas and Pets Newsletter: HERE
7. Enough with the propaganda points: HERE
Intermission: Popcorn half price for evangelicals: SNACKS
8. Espresso with the Just Jesus Christian: HERE
9. Nothing he could say: HERE
Advertisement: Universalist “Big Tent” Toy Set For The Kids! HERE
10. Episco-contemplatives: HERE
10.5 Jenni Botswana knows the Lion HERE
11. What is happening HERE
12. Howls and Lamentations HERE
13. Unholy Times and an Unholy People: HERE
14. Jenni Botswana, Early Bird: HERE
15. The evangelist and the rotting fruit: HERE
15.5 Fleas and Heretics HERE
Evange-Smellicals Perfume Commercial: SNIFF
16. Gay Activist and the Puritan Preacher: HERE
17. HELL’S BELLS: HERE
18. Homo-Universalism: HERE
19. Evange-hellicals and People of the Book: HERE
Infomercial: Evange-hellicals Bible sells out first day: HERE
20. Gomer Joe’s Bar: HERE
21. Return of the Anti-Flea Sauce HERE
22. Hanratty praying, the enemy preying: HERE
Announcement: Talking Evange-tellicals in our lobby! HERE
23. “What, you’re a reformed lesbian?” HERE
24. This thing that is upon us: HERE
25. What a beautiful girl: HERE
26. Better to struggle than burn: HERE
27. The Street Preacher HERE
28: Epilogue: Rifles and Parade: HERE
