The gay community didn’t know what to do about former gay activist Mike Minor. He and his fiance, Charlene, entered gay bars, and events, and attended gay pride parades, where they preached and handed out Bibles. Their testimony astounded many, gave hope to many, and outraged many.
Mike Minor, due to years of unchecked sexual activity, had recently been diagnosed as HIV positive. When he revealed the test results to Charlene, she just shrugged. “You’re the man God gave me.”
Their wedding was scheduled for late October. But in September, at a gay pride parade in a mid-western city, a young man stood atop a six story building. The rifle–his father’s hunting rifle–gleamed in the afternoon sun. He did not consider himself a murderer, and he had never done anything like this before.
For weeks now, he had been angrily tracking Mike and Charlene’s evangelical efforts. Mike Minor had been a hero of his, and one of the reasons he had announced his homosexuality at the age of twelve.
He aimed the rifle at the former gay activist, who was on a street corner preparing to preach. Squeezing the trigger, the young man watched Mike Minor immediately drop to the ground. Quickly he aimed at Charlene, the former lesbian who had once told Mike Minor it was “better to struggle than burn.”
The young man was no expert with firearms, so it was gratifying to see that she, too, collapsed. The noisy crowd below remained oblivious to what had happened. The shots were simply sounds amidst the firecrackers, whistles, and sirens of the parade. Placing the rifle beneath the debris and trash on the roof, he was soon on the ground in the midst of the festivities.
It was a drag queen perched high atop one of the garish floats who finally spotted the blood-soaked couple. By the time the paramedics got there, the parade was nearly over.
Episodes of Attack of the Evange-hellicals:
1. How to silence the black Bishop: HERE
2. The Bishop and the televised lie: HERE
3. C.R.O.C.-o-matic: HERE
4. Declaration of Courtesy: HERE
Announcement: Evange-hellicals Anonymous help available: HERE
5. The LORD is a man of war (Exodus 15:3): HERE
Newsbreak: Unhappy Evange-hellicals Anonymous member speaks out: HERE
6. The Fleas and Pets Newsletter: HERE
7. Enough with the propaganda points: HERE
Intermission: Popcorn half price for evangelicals: SNACKS
8. Espresso with the Just Jesus Christian: HERE
9. Nothing he could say: HERE
Advertisement: Universalist “Big Tent” Toy Set For The Kids! HERE
10. Episco-contemplatives: HERE
10.5 Jenni Botswana knows the Lion HERE
11. What is happening HERE
12. Howls and Lamentations HERE
13. Unholy Times and an Unholy People: HERE
14. Jenni Botswana, Early Bird: HERE
15. The evangelist and the rotting fruit: HERE
15.5 Fleas and Heretics HERE
Evange-Smellicals Perfume Commercial: SNIFF
16. Gay Activist and the Puritan Preacher: HERE
17. HELL’S BELLS: HERE
18. Homo-Universalism: HERE
19. Evange-hellicals and People of the Book: HERE
Infomercial: Evange-hellicals Bible sells out first day: HERE
20. Gomer Joe’s Bar: HERE
21. Return of the Anti-Flea Sauce HERE
22. Hanratty praying, the enemy preying: HERE
Announcement: Talking Evange-tellicals in our lobby! HERE
23. “What, you’re a reformed lesbian?” HERE
24. This thing that is upon us: HERE
25. What a beautiful girl: HERE
26. Better to struggle than burn: HERE
27. The Street Preacher HERE
28: Epilogue: Rifles and Parade: HERE
copyright 2010 John Lanagan
(This is a work of fiction, and all characters are fictitious)
On August 18, 2010 at 12:34 am Pearl said:
