Reverend Linda Billings, dressed in her sparkling, white priest’s garment, looked out over the congregation. She could feel the sweet power of the Master. As his presence poured through her, she pointed to her pink priest’s collar, and proclaimed, “At last! The christ-spirit has told us what we must do.”
Hearing these words, the congregation erupted in spontaneous celebration. Hetero and same-sex couples spilled out into the aisles, dancing and whirling and shouting. The 16,000 seat auditorium was completely filled. Prominent leaders of the Presbytemplatives and others in the Spiritual Silence Alliance were also in attendance.
Reverend Linda held up her hand, and all motion and noise ceased. She said, “As newly appointed Head Minister of our rapidly growing denomination, I take very seriously my responsibility before the Master.” Linda smiled, and turned to Jill Billings, who stood alongside her. “So, too, do I take my sacred responsibility to Reverend Jill, my wife.”
Again the auditorium exploded with a deafening roar. Liberals from arenas of education, government, and media nodded their approval.
Reverend Linda held up two shining silver bells. With great reverence, the Episco-contemplative leader said, “Let us ring in a new era. An era of christ-consciousness, of christ-relation, and of love relation with one another.”
In the back of the auditorium, reporter Jenni Botswana kept writing in her notebook. Tears streamed down her face.
Reverend Linda Billings looked out at the happy throng. “Let us honor all paths to the Master. Let us understand the real sin is to be untrue to ourselves.”
Twenty feet away from Jenni Botswana, the Evangelist made his way toward the exit. He had much to do.
With a sudden motion, Linda Billings brought the bells together. The sound rang throughout the auditorium. Some dropped to their knees. Others held hands high above their heads.
In large letters, Jenni Botswana wrote in her notebook: HELL’S BELLS.
To be continued…
Episodes of Attack of the Evange-hellicals:
1. How to silence the black Bishop: HERE
2. The Bishop and the televised lie: HERE
3. C.R.O.C.-o-matic: HERE
4. Declaration of Courtesy: HERE
Announcement: Evange-hellicals Anonymous help available: HERE
5. The LORD is a man of war (Exodus 15:3): HERE
Newsbreak: Unhappy Evange-hellicals Anonymous member speaks out: HERE
6. The Fleas and Pets Newsletter: HERE
7. Enough with the propaganda points: HERE
Intermission: Popcorn half price for evangelicals: SNACKS
8. Espresso with the Just Jesus Christian: HERE
9. Nothing he could say: HERE
Advertisement: Universalist “Big Tent” Toy Set For The Kids! HERE
10. Episco-contemplatives: HERE
10.5 Jenni Botswana knows the Lion HERE
11. What is happening HERE
12. Howls and Lamentations HERE
13. Unholy Times and an Unholy People: HERE
14. Jenni Botswana, Early Bird: HERE
15. The evangelist and the rotting fruit: HERE
15.5 Fleas and Heretics HERE
Evange-Smellicals Perfume Commercial: SNIFF
16. Gay Activist and the Puritan Preacher: HERE
17. HELL’S BELLS: HERE
18. Homo-Universalism: HERE
19. Evange-hellicals and People of the Book: HERE
Infomercial: Evange-hellicals Bible sells out first day: HERE
20. Gomer Joe’s Bar: HERE
21. Return of the Anti-Flea Sauce HERE
22. Hanratty praying, the enemy preying: HERE
Announcement: Talking Evange-tellicals in our lobby! HERE
23. “What, you’re a reformed lesbian?” HERE
24. This thing that is upon us: HERE
25. What a beautiful girl: HERE
26. Better to struggle than burn: HERE
27. The Street Preacher HERE
28: Epilogue: Rifles and Parade: HERE
copyright 2010 John Lanagan
(This is a fictitious story, and all characters are fictitious)
From Attack of the Evange-hellicals, Part 17
Reporter Jenni Botswana first encountered Linda and Jill Billings, the Episco-contemplative priests, in the chapter, Jenni Botswana knows the Lion …
Pearl, I just watched it. That is the ante-chamber to hell. Incredible. For much of the time, the old people in the “audience” wouldn’t even look up–then of course, they were all up, doing whatever that thing was. Thanks for sending this.
Okay…found it: http://tiny.cc/7eb1n
I hear ya. In my highschool & partying years, many of my closest friends were gay. Since I’ve been a believer, I’ve lost contact with them. But if I saw them on the street today, I’d still be thrilled to see them. The only thing that’s changed is that I’ve been forgiven, washed in the precious blood of Jesus Christ, and I want the same for them, and every other person who is lost, no matter what sin(s) keep them blinded and bound to the god of this world.
Swimming in molasses…yep. I can identify. You’ve got my prayers, even before asking.
Hey Pearl. No pink priest collars—-yet. Not that I know of, anyway. What video did you see? You know, this is tough, writing about this stuff–gay people are for the most part warm and likable people. I know many, am related to some, and have had my own dark time in this area. But this sin in particular is bringing something–something very evil, and it is rising as we speak.
In some way this glorification of homosexuality is in the mix with contemplative worship and the 12 Step religion. Only time will tell, and I hope none of us are here to see it.
I know I have asked before, but I would really appreciate your prayers about a novel regarding this and other things. Trying to get going on it is like–pick your cliche–swimming in molasses.
Holy is our God.
If I’d not seen a video on Vee’s Living Journey blog a few months back very similar to this scene, I’d be tempted to say you might be stretching it a little. Sad to say, you’re right on target.
Love the pink priests’ collars…please tell me this is merely your own artistic license. Or is it getting that blatant?
Yes, we are in for a sad time in regard to the Body of Christ. It is the time, as Ken Silva has been reporting, of “big tent” Christianity, meaning, essentially, universalism.
The mixing and merging will increase.
But God has his Remnant in His hand.
A very real scenario that is being acted out in many *churches* today.
I have just been reading Revelation 3. We see the synagogue of Satan growing before our very eyes.